Stop and start anew

Sometimes I stop.
You know.
A stopping, if you will, like the hosts in Westworld,
if you have watched this,
where they are told to go offline.
I tell myself, sometimes.

Frozen, inward, I stop.
Numb and empty,
it feels like there is nothing left inside,
nothing left to say.
This is the bottom of the frozen lake, yet….
there is life to be found there
and there where it feels numb and cold,
work is being done,
slow and silent, deep down.

It stops the stopping at one moment,
the ice starts thawing
and where you thought,
that everything always stays the same…
so much has actually changed.

You go online.
There is numbness and cold left,
emptyness and nothingness
and also……something…fresh.

No will to prove yourself
A desire to show who you are
And a deep strength…..in your core…
that knows the courage you need and have
to walk with silver hair,
to be different than everyone else,
to speak your truth
with both a shaky voice and thunder
to not seek approval for your stories
to not ask for permission to become,
to not beg for them to believe your pain, any longer…….
…….makes the confidence grow, even more.

Sometimes I stop
and I know why I do
The old self goes offline
and I start anew.
How about you? ❤️