Welcome to The chronic pain challenge ♡
Nice to meet you here!
*Please note that English is not my first language*
I’m Simi, I live in England, the UK, with my daughter and husband.
I speak and write in three languages, Serbian, Dutch and English. I was a primary school teacher and language tutor for a decade and a half (in Europe) but I never resonated with the system and have fully embraced home education.
I’m an outgoing introvert (INFJ- search for Myers Briggs personality types)
My chronic pain journey started in 2007, after wisdom tooth surgery. Since then I have been diagnosed with (for what it is worth...): TMJD, Fibromyalgia, migraines, a slipped disc, chronic fatigue, TN, atypical facial pain, post-concussion syndrome, chronic hyperventilation, carpal tunnel syndrome, (C-)PTSD, TMS, IBS, OCD, multiple chemical sensitivity, knee meniscus, osteo artrosis/artritis/degenerative joint disorder DJD, a fractured ankle, tennis elbow and that is not all. I am also ‘allergic’ to (questionable) authorities and to the widespread cognitive dissonance.
Your conditions may be different, You may have the same. There are many named above…but they overlap (They overlap because most of these are due to trauma, in my case) These diagnoses can be important to you on your journey…the recognition…the fact you are seen, believed, listened to. Sometimes they don’t matter anymore at all. We as beings are a whole and as a whole we shall be healed (so be it, I say!)
In the past year, at the moment of writing, I have come to the conclusion that most of my chronic pain is unresolved TRAUMA, complex ptsd (c-ptsd) to be precise. I have learned that there are three causes of disease: Toxicity, Deficiencies and Trauma (this makes sense to me on a deep level. Research the Terrain paradigm) However complicated this realisation, it gives me space I have never had before and I see things in a different light now. The approach, even from holistic therapists, has usually been (at least partially) wrong for me and not suitable: Fast paced and strong remedies (that I intuitively knew would be too fast, too much and would send me into an even deeper freeze state plus even they treated symptoms only and not the root cause ) I understand now that many of these natural/holistic therapies are actually allopathic.. What I need is back to basics, no more overwhelming the system, more subtle, more simple, more nature💗 To achieve this, we need boundaries ♡
I have had numerous therapies in the past years (before finding out about trauma and disregulated nervous systems) both allopathic and holistic, some helpful, some not and /or even damaging. I will write about these and I can say there have been tears, rage and hysterical laughter, from the neurologist to the psychic (…) Oh the lengths one goes to….
I have found that despite the challenges or, perhaps, because of them, I have had many deep insights throughout the years that felt like initiations.
I think that is not a strange concept, being that certain cultures and tribes that have initiations leading to another life stage, often involve some form of pain. I hope that some of these insights may be helpful to you, on your path. It reminds me of what Jung has said: “There is no coming to consciousness without pain”.
That being said, it may sound like I mean that all pain has a purpose. Acute pain does, but with chronic pain…what is it telling us? In my case, a long story of trauma, that wants to be felt, heard, seen. It takes all the courage you have to feel, hear and see, finally. I salute you if you are also on this path! 💗
In 2014 I started a Facebook page (existing, but not active any longer as I don’t like fb) that eventually became
The chronic pain challenge
To see why I chose this name, let’s look at the meaning of the word Challenge on dictionary.com:
-something that by its nature or character serves as a call to battle, contest, special effort, etc.
And what a challenge it is…to deal with the pain, to manage every day …to rope-dance through life….The trauma and grieving that comes with having to leave your old, pain-free life behind you. …. The losses (financial, friends, family) the loneliness, the physical burden, the mental/emotional aspect…. social rejection……
What is so very wrong with our environment, our society, our inevitably collapsing system, our way of life, that more and more people have chronic pain? Ptsd? Mental health issues? We know, don’t we? Without going further than the purpose of my page, for the moment, we can agree that society is deeply dysfunctional and will eventually collapse. There is so much healing to do, on all levels. First we have to come to our senses literally…..and feel, hear, see, for the first time ever, perhaps.
Introduction
Pain that lasts for more than three months is called chronic.
You are reading this because you have chronic pain yourself, maybe.
Or a loved one has it… or perhaps you are just interested?
Greetings to you 😉
We are all on our unique path and somewhere on that path we meet, at this moment in time.
I have had a long, challenging journey so far and the times we are in make everything more of an ordeal and healing even more needed and necessary: to become our true self and reach our full potential. 💗
For me, there was a starting point.
Do you have a defining moment?
One where we remember where we were, what we were doing.
I can still see the snow that was falling like big cotton balls on that day.
Everything quiet and moving in slow-motion, like time itself knew.
Is your defining moment not a minute, hour, but more a week, a month, a year?
Some of us may have had their pain start after an accident.
Some, or no doubt many, may have had their pain start after a vax$ine, a procedure, a drug, surgery. (in other words, an iatrogenic cause, due to doctors/medicine) An injury. Maybe you don’t know what started your pain. A series of events from your childhood till the present day? We might remember the moment as the start, but, for some, was it just the trigger that unleashed what was, perhaps, hidden within?
We are called names. Sometimes if our conditions are visible, sometimes when they are not so visible.
On my blog you will read about my ongoing journey, the therapies I have had, how I resonate with supporting the unique needs of the individual, about truth, true science and justice, about total medical freedom and
about the biggest, holistic work that awaits; of true healing of the body, mind and spirit/soul as one, as a whole. Reclaiming and loving ourselves, our inner-child, all of our parts and pieces ♡
If that is what resonates with you as well, on your own journey and if you have a metaphor deficiency (I take care of these) then buckle up! I have a lot to write 😉
Much love,
Simi
Some random facts about me/what I like ♡
Dark Forests, mountains, rivers, books. Sci-fi, Dieselpunk/Steampunk/Victorian, Jazz Age, The roaring twenties.💗
Vintage clothes. Dark academia, Crow-core. Junk journaling, ephemera. apothecary. Maternal history, Dressing up/Role play. Collector of Crystals, unusual stones (what are/were they) Researching the realm (what is this place we live in, who, what, why, how, where) Old architecture. All through a C-PTSD lens. Intense, creative, expressive, eternal editor (…) master procrastinator (oh…..the disregulated nervous system……) writing, poetry, metaphors & visions, life=education, unschooling, breaking the mold, questioning everything. Cats! 💗
Mozart. Jazz. Oat hot chocolate mornings, every day…but oh on a rainy day…💗! Rose tea. Ajvar and gibanica (Serbian dishes) Westworld. Decorating, rearranging. Moody skies. Real connections💗
Nice to meet you! ♡
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The chronic pain challenge 