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While I was watching my daughter’s favourite movie (Willy Wonka) for the hundredth time, I was thinking about Grandpa Joe.
The man has spent twenty years in bed , thinking he will never walk again.
Until his grandson brings home “The golden ticket”, which makes him get out of bed and not only walk again, but even dance!

This random golden ticket.
This gets him out of bed after two decades.
It makes me think of the horse tied to a plastic chair.
He can walk away, but he won’t.

As I like to challenge myself,
I have started wondering what my plastic chair is and what The golden ticket.
Is there self-sabotage within me?
My conditions are complex and go way back, it’s not simple.
I am willing, however-and one has to be, on the path of healing- and in order to heal,
to look at this carefully.
What can be marked as “it is what it is” and what can be changed?
Healing has to happen on many levels, body, mind and spirit.

The call to rise to the best version of yourself is your golden ticket
and I’m reaching for mine.

Love,
Silvia

Living with chronic pain
is like being All of the acts in the circus, simultaneously

I am the rope dancer
I spin all plates and make sure none fall
I juggle, I am the acrobat
I balance, swing on the trapeze and walk on stilts
I unicycle, dance and I’m the clown
I am all of that at the same time
And without applause
Because nobody knows
Chronic pain leaves you without control,
so we need the ‘illusion’
of having some over our other circumstances
Being, the exact time and place
and a when and where and how
as the why remains unknown
I rope-dance through life;
the invisible act.